“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” James 1:19-20
One of the most popular ways to deliver feedback in the corporate world is the “Sandwich Method.” Believed to be initially used by therapists and counsellors, it was popularized by the founder of Mary Kay, a US-Based cosmetics company. Mary Kay’s big boss, Mary Kay Ash, advises her managers to sandwich their criticisms with positive remarks so that their staff are more likely to be open to their suggestions and constructive criticisms.
As followers of Jesus, we have long been encouraged to refrain from using harsh words that might hurt the feelings of others. Instead, we should choose words that build up and encourage others, so they too could be stirred into doing good works for the glory of God.
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29
Such encouragement is not only for office bosses and business owners. As parents, we are primarily tasked to speak the truth without hurting our children’s emotions, and discipline them without being verbally aggressive.
“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4
So how do we become better when it comes to communicating with our children and disciplining them? Well, like the Sandwich Technique, we ought to capitalize on the positives first. We can only do that though if we fix our eyes on the good, and not be obsessed about our children’s mistakes. After all they are still learning their way into becoming better humans, and we have once been like them.
When we focus on the good things that our children do, it will be easier to tell them about the things they should improve on.
But, if as a parent, you find yourself struggling with saying the truth in anger to your children, yelling at them, resorting to sarcasm, or just suddenly snapping at them when things get overwhelming then take heart. The Lord assures you that He will help you become the parent He wants you to be if you seek His help about it.
“And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1:6
While you will not turn into a gentle mom overnight, the Lord promises to give you opportunities upon opportunities to train yourself into becoming the patient and tender-hearted mom that He envisions you to be.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.”
And if you fail one day, remember, our Heavenly Father is so gracious that He assures forgiveness and more chances for us to try our best to be better.
“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23
And so as we claim His promise of renewed mercies, let us pay it forward by being gracious and merciful to our own children as well. Let us look up at the perfect parenting example ever — the best Father there is, and the King of Kings!
“The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” Psalm 103:8
Thank you for reading through our devotional today. I invite you to ponder on James 1:19-27 to dig deeper on today’s topic.
Reflection Question: Do you seek God’s help in improving your communication skills?
Conversation with the Lord: Heavenly Father, thank you for your graciousness, allow me my Lord to follow your example of gentle parenting. Give me the grace to speak encouraging words, and become the patient and happy parent you have always wanted me to be. Amen.
