Being a parent is a fulfilling endeavor, filled with many beautiful moments. However, it’s also a challenging responsibility that can give rise to feelings of frustration. Parenting has also become trickier to navigate in the modern world, with technology both proving to be a boon and bane when it comes to raising children.
However, there’s no reason for fear and pressure. Parenting is tough but it’s not impossible. Moreover, moms and dads aren’t alone in this endeavor. There’s a lot of help to be found, from fellow parents to health professionals and parenting experts. Also listed below are some tips that could hopefully give you more helpful insights:

Avoid “Helicopter Parenting”

As a parent, you don’t want any harm or danger to come to your kids. There’s certainly nothing wrong with this. The problem comes when you start overseeing every aspect of your children’s lives to the point of coddling them. This is what’s called helicopter parenting.
Do note that it’s perfectly fine to supervise your children, particularly when they’re still of a certain age. However, paying extremely close attention to their activities and doing everything for them can cause problems. After all, young children and even teenagers need to experience independence and learn from their mistakes in order to develop into well-rounded adults.
Examples of helicopter parenting can be seen often in school (e.g., parents answering learning modules on behalf of their children). Nevertheless, it can also manifest in other aspects of a child’s life such as in making friends.
The key is to strike a balance. For example, if your teenager is staying overnight at a friend’s place, you can  buy load online and remind them to keep in touch. However, don’t bug them hour after hour about what they’re doing. This way, you establish ground rules and at the same time show confidence that your child will follow them. It can be hard not to worry, but giving them a little leeway will be good for everyone.

Communicate

If you’re finding it hard to make your children do what you tell them to do, perhaps it’s time to evaluate how you communicate. The “because I said so” approach is counterproductive. Children need to know the “why” of things. Do you want them to put their toys back in their proper place? Tell them the importance of cleaning up and taking care of things. This will help them understand the basis of the things you’re asking them to do.
You should also take the time to listen to your child, giving their thoughts and opinions value. When they feel that they aren’t judged, they will be more open to sharing their ideas instead of repressing them. What’s more, kids who are involved in the decision-making process are more likely to hold up their end of an agreement.

Be Consistent With Discipline

Establishing house rules is important because it sets expectations and teaches your children how to respect authority and develop self-control. However, house rules would mean nothing if you don’t follow through with the consequences. Consistency is the key here; your children might test your patience but don’t give in. Setting limits early on and being consistent with implementation can teach your children how to be responsible for their actions.

Be Flexible

Being flexible might seem counterintuitive, since the previous point emphasized consistency. Still, there is such a thing as setting unrealistic expectations. What’s more, being consistent with discipline doesn’t mean you can’t change the way you approach it. Be open to possibilities and look at a situation from a different perspective. This is especially true as your child grows up and learns more from their teachers, classmates, friends, and environment.
Besides, allowing yourself to be a flexible parent shows your children that it’s okay to make mistakes and that you can change your mind. It shows that you can make better decisions by gathering new information.

Don’t Be Afraid to Show Affection

Younger children are generally more receptive to gestures of affection like hugs and kisses. As they grow older, they might be a little more reluctant (especially when they don’t want to be seen as “babies” anymore). Still, don’t be afraid to show your affection in other ways. Listen to their stories, encourage their interests, and spend quality time with them. Give them the freedom to make their own choices, but offer your guidance.
It’s also important to let your children know that your love is unconditional. Be encouraging, rather than fault-finding. Let them know that even though they make mistakes, you’re there to support and love them.

Last but certainly not least, modern parenting means recognizing your weaknesses. Be forgiving of yourself and understand that there really is no such thing as a perfect parent. Admit your mistakes, work on improving them, and admit when you need to take a break. Parenting takes a lot of work and you need to rest to be able to do it well.
Thanks for stopping by ladies, and till next post!

A happy homemaker is a Happy Pinay Mommy!

The post 5 Parenting Tips for Filipinos in 2021 appeared first on Happy Pinay Mommy.

“Tactful and patient parenting make for happy childhood memories, and help build confidence among children”

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The above quote is my note to self whenever I am becoming a nega nanay. Sometimes when I am too tired I get cranky and start to nag my eldest about the mess she has created or how her little cabinet looks like, or how their toy chest is filled to the brim. My litany (and voice haha) could sometimes rival that of Vangie Labalan in one of her movies whenever she nags her borders on and on and on about the mess in the boarding house (Sorry na, batang 90s!).

I tend to snap at the “little borders” sometimes too during those days I am saddled with back to back to back chores and the kids are being too rambunctious. And like those Koreanovela moms that I watch, i sometimes complain too with a hiss or a growl or whatever that funny sound they make when they are frustrated (you know this if you have seen a Koreanovela especially Reply 1988) with housework.

The journey to better parenting

So what I do really is try to keep my mouth shut when am frustrated about the mess they created, tired with all the chores, stressed with all their fighting amongst each other, or just plainly drained. I might say things out of sheer frustration, and later on I would regret it.

My dad always says that it is better to keep one’s mouth shut than say things that can hurt other people. He said no matter how sorry you are you can never take back the pain you’ve inflicted. So when I am quiet already, the kids and the mister already know better, and would start to behave themselves.

The magic of downtime for moms

Also, early bedtime helps! By making the kids ready for bed by 8, I can already watch TV and relax early on (unless someone beat mo to it to watch UFC or whatever, but hey just being in the couch is fine with me too!). Early rest helps me recharge for the next day, and keeps me from being cranky early in the morning

Lately, I discovered resting every after two chores to “refill my tank.” I wrote about it earlier this week or was that last week? It is helpful in generally enjoying mothering life. It helps any cranky tired mama become a better and gentler mom.

Leaning on Jesus

Lastly, I pray for it everyday. I pray for strength to serve the whole family without feeling cranky. I pray for patience, and I pray for God’s grace to help me become a better mom. Setting aside time for bible devotion is really helpful, because as they say Tao lang naman tayong napapagod. So let us ask for the grace to become better at parenting, and He will surely listen.

So cheers to us Happy Pinay Mommies! We can do this!

The post Tactful and Patient Parenting appeared first on Happy Pinay Mommy.

Hi ladies, starting the week right by appreciating one of my children.

I have been chronicling some stories about my middle child here in the blog. If you are new here, well, Siobs is my cheerful, rambunctious, yet super-duper kind daughter.

The other day, she walked up to me while I was meal planning and drawing up my grocery orders. And she told me this out of the blue:

Oh dear siobs, my tender-hearted daughter, you never fail to amaze me

In reality, children are sensitive enough to understand that times are tough these days. The lockdowns have affected the finances of many families. Even families whose businesses or work have not been affected by this ongoing pandemic, are choosing to save up and tighten their grip on their savings.

Such financial situation and the upcoming Christmas season might be putting a pressure on most parents. This is especially true if the kids are used to receiving gifts and trips and a lavish spread during the holidays.

But based from what my daughter told me, I figured that maybe we should not feel pressured. I think those of certain age can already understand that they will not receive an extravagant Christmas present this year. Explain it through a heart to heart talk. In reality, since kids are observant, they will get the gist if they see or hear you habitually trying to save up. Children four years old and below, on the other hand, hardly know what to expect yet during the holidays so they do not get disappointed too easily.

Present VS Presence

Kids are smart and sensitive creatures, and most of them would choose to spend time and play with us over those expensive gizmos we can buy them. So choose lambing time, game time, family movie time, baking day, and going under their forts with them.

Your presence is much more appreciated than presents so do not be a tad guilty! These activities tend to be remembered fondly throughout their grown up years, and even when they become parents too!

Take heart, Ladies. You are raising them well! Till next post!

A Happy Homemaker is a Happy Pinay Mommy!

The post What Christmas 2020 will look like for Kids appeared first on Happy Pinay Mommy.

“Rest and mid-day breaks* This was the theme of my week. Allowing myself to rest. I have worked throughout my single life and I was a proud workaholic. I do not know if it it because of the culture of the industries I have worked for, or if I took after my Dad, but i thrived in the endless to-do lists and tight deadlines.

Moms need afternoon naps too

As a stay at home mom, i realized lately that I have been overburdening myself with endless lists and self-imposed deadlines. Yes they were SMART goals, all are possible to do within the day — but I end up dead tired with no patience for rambunctious kids as soon as the clock strikes 8pm.

*I run out of patience by 8pm,* i tell my kids every single day and so they all have to be ready for bed by that time. Either they play quietly till 830pm or off to bed they go.

Heart-to-heart talk

The mister mentioned to me that he feels bad each time I tell him that I finally got the chance to sit on the couch at about 5. He says, it is my choice to overwork myself and that I should be kind to myself. He said recess and deadlines apply to moms too. and so he said I should take breaks within the day even for just 30 minutes, and I should not be plagued by guilt if I put up my feet in the couch, surf TV or the net, or take a nap. “The kids can just play to their heart’s content, make a mess and all, but love yourself enough to give it a rest. Your body needs it more than ever, it will boost your immunity,” he says.

I gave it a try. I do chores 2-3 at a time, and then take rests. after work out, I make breakfast for everyone, feed them, and take a rest before I tackle the dishes. The same routine goes on throughout the day, and after a couple of days, I found myself accomplishing the chores but not feeling as busy as I used to. Where did I get the extra time?

Truth be told, the Mister kept on telling me that the list is endless. And if I give myself the permission to rest, it will not matter because the chores will always be there! Just like what is in this lovely quote from the wonderful blog “A Life in Progress”

So now I understand that bible devotion, daily work out, a bit of downtime before bed, less coffee, and sleeping early are not just THE MUSTS in my journey to better motherhood.

I have to rest mid day — be it a nap or short read in the couch– and then rest some more in the afternoon. Yes, I have discovered that power naps and mid-day down times for moms are so refreshing! I also started to challenge myself to take a break when needed, not when am too tired or when the work is done.

And that I think, is the secret to this week’s longer patience and happier mommying days! Happy Friday ladies!

A Happy Homemaker is a Happy Pinay Mommy!

The post Why mommies need mid-day breaks appeared first on Happy Pinay Mommy.

Our little familia’s mini misadventures this Christmas.

“For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and dominion will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6

Merry Christmas everyone!!! Sharing our favorite Christmas verse and Achie’s little artwork. Hope you are all having a wonderful time with family and friends! TRULY it is the most wonderful time of the year!

Just thought of sharing how we celebrated Christmas this year. As usual, we attended the Christmas eve mass and the kids are really happy to be witnessing again the processional of baby Jesus to our Church’s nativity area. The lights are out and only the spotlight was on Baby Jesus. I was so happy that they were all now big enough to sing O holy night with the Church crowd, even little guy was trying to hum (last Christmas eve mass he was fast asleep in his stroller).

Excited to see Baby Jesus again

Anyway, the kids were so excited to see the Nativity and get a chance to see Baby Jesus. I can only pray that we can keep our focus on the Lord, on baby Jesus, so that the Prince of Peace will continue to reign in our hearts.

Also during Christmas eve, we were able to watch the Midnight Mass aired at ABSCBN and celebrated by Fr Jerry Orbos. It is so wonderful. So touching. If you have time, search the youtube upload of last midnight’s mass, and I am sure you to will be touched.

Our imperfect birthday cake for Jesus

And to top our celebration of Jesus’ Brthday last night, we had to celebrate with a lopsided cake, a bit disastrous. little guy was cranky when we came home from church and he was able to reach for the cake box (salamat at nakascotch tape at ribbon pa) and accidentally dropped it on the floor face down. Achie cried because she thought Jesus will not have a wonderful cake for His birthday so we kept on assuring her that Jesus will understand. And that it does not need to be perfect each time because even the circumstances in Christ’s birth wasn’t perfect either.

When it came to cake blowing time everyone was happy and excited again! Iba talaga ang pasko with kids. Ang saya! I just hope we were able to impart to them the real reason for the season

Again Merry Christmas everyone and cheers to more blessings this coming 2019!

A Happy Homemaker is a Happy Pinay Mommy!

The post A Happy Pinay Mommy Christmas 2018 appeared first on Happy Pinay Mommy.

Happy Pinay Mommy musings by the beach.

Been meaning to post this photo of our recent beach trip but I keep on forgetting to do so

My heart is always at its happiest when I see and join my kids playing on the sand and swimming in the beach.

Child at heart

I feel like I i am a kid all over again as I join them in trying to find shells, nice stones, build sand castles, try to discover marine life in the shore and catch the waves.

During this trip — while I was prepping our lunch and they were playing on the sand — all the things that usually make my lunch prep at home all the more hectic like breaking up a sibling fight, requests for water, breastfeeding break, read a book, potty time was temporarily unheard of. Halos hindi nila kami pansinin. They will only call me and Capt B when they want to show us something like a shell or the castle they are building. Magical indeed! The mister and I suddenly had time for uninterrupted conversations which hardly happens until after bedtime. Ang galing!

Their enjoyment, plus our happy family bonding time and the bonus relaxation for us parents made me and Capt Barbel promise ourselves that we will be bringing them to the beach as often as we can.

Reminscing own childhood

After all in both our childhood, the Mister and I looked forward to family beach trips. It will always be the happiest and most memorable. And though beaches may be a long drive i was happy to realize now that both our parents took the time to let us enjoy the sea and the sand! So now that nice beaches are often a plane ride away, we make sure to save up some so the kids can experience the same level of happiness we both had.

Thank you for indulging me in this read. I realised I have not been posting much lately about our trips but will make a conscious effort next time. Till next post!

A happy homemaker is a Happy Pinay Mommy!

The post Of Beach Babies and Mommy Musings appeared first on Happy Pinay Mommy.

Work from home Philippines is possible, and interested moms should give it a try.

My youngest child loves playing with my keyboard and so I allow him to type away in it. I detach it from my laptop and let him press all those keys that he would like to explore. So whenever I see him trying to reach for it on my work from home office desk, I just unplug it from the laptop and hand it to him because it makes him really happy.

Take the stress out of working from home by reminding yourself why you chose to be home in the first place.

Saw him the other day though laying on the floor and somewhat hugging the keyboard. The sight made me sigh and silently whisper “tunay talagang wala aking magagawa nito kasi kinuha na nya pati keyboard” eveb if I was not planning to work during that soecific time.

Work From Home Philippines

The sight also reminded me of my super struggling monster mom days of trying to juggle mothering achie and my then youngest shobz. I was so heartbroken then to not be able to do my part time freelance writing or any housechores when they are up and about.
Fast forward to another baby later, well I still struggle sometimes but since I have learned to accept that they need me a lot, i do not dare to multi-task so much.

I have decided to accept that fact because it helped me decide to just retain clients I really enjoy working with, to write blogposts that are really helpful to fellow Filipina mothers. To not be pressured by anything because in reality, i decided to stay home because I want to take care of my kids and watch them grow every single day.

So from the time I decided to accept that I cant do much when my kids are still awake, I have become a calmer and more playful mom. If they want to nurse, we sit down. If they want me to read with them, we go read. If they want to play with the clothes Im folding, i just let them be because in reality, what can I do? They will not understand even if i threaten to get mad or turn into beastmode right?

So I just wait for their bedtime — which I decided to have earlier than most households — so I can get things done, have adult conversations with Capt Barbel and at the same time work on my website.

Do i still get stressed? Yes, but i am much calmer now, especially when the mister reminds me why I chose to stay and work from home in the first place.

Hope you can follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Pinterest for regular doses of mommy musings, most Happy Pinay Mommies can relate to.

A Happy Homemaker is a Happy Pinay Mommy!

Meanwhile here’s a video on tips on working from home with kids:

How to Cook Easy Chicken Sisig

The post Taking the stress out of working from home appeared first on Happy Pinay Mommy.

Amid the scary possible scenarios, the best thing to do is to be prepared. (Photo Credits)

“The Big One” or the high intensity earthquake that is supposed to hit Manila and nearby provinces continues to generate buzz over social media. And although, Phivolcs has already denied issuing any warning about an exact range of time when this earthquake could take place, it said that it is still best to be prepared.

For us moms with young children, a strong earthquake gets all the more scary because we do have little ones to think of. How can we ensure their safety, how do we ensure that they will have enough to eat, and that they will still have clothes on their backs until we get help?

In my opinion, the best thing that we can do to prepare our families for disaster are the following –

General tips on Disaster Preparedness for Young Families:

1. Have a family plan. even if it is just you and your husband and the kids, make sure that your husband will know where to find you guys and vice versa in case he is at work, or you are at work when an earthquake takes place and there would be a need to evacuate.
2. Set aside a budget for disaster preparedness. The disaster kits, go bags, extra provisions in the car and in the pantry, emergency cash, plus some gadgets definitely do not come cheap. Set aside a budget for family disaster preparedness so that these supplies will remain intact.
3. Practice. If you have school-aged children, it is best to make your children aware of what to do in case there is an earthquake especially if it happens while they are in school. Talk to their teacher and ask if they have emergency plans in place and if they have earthquake drills in school. Assure your school-aged child as well that you or someone from your family will come for her in case she gets stuck somewhere in school.

(Post Continued Below)

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You may also want to read:

• What to pack in a Go Bag for Babies
• Emergency Go Bag Contents for Toddlers
• Where to buy Insulated Breast Milk Cooler Bags in the Philippines     
• Where to buy Ring Slings in the Philippines   
• Where to buy Tula Baby Carriers
• Filipino Preserved Food Recipes  
• Where to buy Tawa-Tawa for Dengue in the Philippines   
• Where to Buy Affordable Nebulizers in the Philippines

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3. Invest in tags. Some parents make their children wear bracelets with their mobile number for emergency. For evacuation and emergency purposes, I think it will be best to have children wear an info bracelet or a dog-tag like necklace that contains the child’s name, your name, your contact information, blood type, and allergies if any.
4. Harness technology. There are GPS watches for kids that can be very helpful during crisis situations (like this). Some do not even cost more than Php1500.00 and if you ask me, this will be totally worth it if you have a school aged child. There are also solar powered chargers in the market today that can be used as flash lights, and charging port for your electronic devices (check out this solar powerbank).
5. Pack your go bag. The main items in the go bag should be care of mom and dad, and the older kids should have some for themselves too (yes, even your preschooler). Light snacks, medicines, flashlights and other light items can be placed in their bag to maximize the family’s main bug out bag. (Here’s a link to my post on what a go bag should contain especially for families with babies and young children). Of course the go bag itself has to be durable and easy to carry (like this). Also, revisit its contents every six months for those that are about to expire. Make sure as well that you are can carry the weight of your bag. An over-packed bag may hinder your chances of safely surviving a disaster.
6. Stock your car with essentials too. This will be especially helpful if the big one occurs while you guys are on the road. Simple snacks, change of clothes, and other bug out / emergency items can be in a duffel bag in the trunk. Also, make sure your car has enough gas all the time, has a reserve tire, and all the necessary tools, plus extras like cables and portable air compressors for inflating your tires (like this).
7. Your house should have some stock food and water too. This will be very helpful in case you are just at home, you do not need to evacuate BUT all the food and supplies stores have already closed shop. Make sure you have stock food that will not need refrigeration that could last you up to a week. Same goes with toiletries. Order extra water containers if you need to.
8. Make sure you have cash too. In this cashless age, cash still remains king especially during emergencies. Have cash handy at your home in case you would need to evacuate.
9. Send a softcopy of all your valuable docs and files in a secure email. In case the documents that you have gets lost, then these soft copies will all come in handy. same goes with your photos, create a back up, store in an external drive (this one is shock proof) and bring it with you in your bug out bag — or store it in the cloud or any secure online storage.
10. Knowledge will always translate to power. Familiarize yourself with maps, where the fault line is, where the safe places are, and where you can evacuate safely. A compass could help to so orient yourself on how to use one. Follow the social media accounts of Phivolcs (here’s their FB Link), NDRRMC (Here’s the social media page link), your local DRRMC, PAGASA, Meralco (or your electricity provider), MMDA (if you are in NCR), The Red Cross (here’s their FB Link), as well as that of your local government and your trusted news agency.
11. Relearn how to function without technology or high tech gadgets. That non-smartphone bar phone whose batteries can last for two days, has a flashlight and FM radio can save you and your family. Get one if you have already disposed yours (here’s one that is also waterproof!). Get a candle because your flashlight will soon lose batteries. Have a transistor radio with you if possible as well. Do not forget to bring in fans or abaniko too, especially since your young ones will need it. Have a hardcopy of important phone numbers and addresses of emergency contacts, family, and friends. Have a transistor radio at hand (here’s one that is under P500.00).
12. Invest in a recommended baby or toddler carrier. Have this by your door or next to your emergency kit because this can literally be a lifesaver. Even if your toddler already knows how to walk, she may not be able to do it quickly. Ring slings are the most affordable and are very light and easy to pack, Soft Structured Carriers on the other hand are very helpful and reliable when it comes to emergency situations. Let baby wearing help you. Check out our section on babywearing to help you choose the right carrier for your family.
13. Keep medical needs in mind. If you have an asthmatic child, you may need to have a portable nebulizer. Also have enough medicines in the house and in the go bag especially for maintenance meds and allergies.
14. Be conscious of special needs within the family. If you are pregnant, know what to do as well to keep you and your unborn baby safe. Same goes if you live with elderly, or someone who is sick. Have enough of their supplies, and have a plan on how to evacuate them.
15. Don’t forget about your pets. Extra food, and leash are the important things they will need. Make sure they are with you when you evacuate.
16. Do not discount self-defense. Preppers cannot emphasize enough that it is very possible to meet someone willing to commit a crime in order to survive dire situations. Do not get caught flat-footed. Get at least a pepper spray for your family (get one here).
17. Physically prepare for it. Exercise. Make yourself healthy. Your kids will be relying on you to get to safety and the greater your endurance, the higher the possibility of surviving a major disaster.
18. Pray and rest your anxious heart. If and when you have prepped everything but when the actual disaster takes place and you can’t seem to carry your bug out bag, know in your mind that your family’s safety is the most important, and that we cannot bring any of these earthly possessions in the after-life.

Disaster preparedness should never be mistaken for paranaoia. Do not be affected with those that say you are over reacting to the news. Even if it is not an earthquake — fires, and urban flooding remain to be a threat that may require evacuation. At the same breath, hold off re-sharing alarmist social media posts from unverified sources. It will just be best to stay prepared all the time.

Yes, disaster kits as well as extra supplies, plus your time preparing these require time and money, but it will always be worth it. Choose to have peace of mind.

So there you have it, I will be updating this post as soon as I come across with more information on disaster preparedness for young families. Please drop by my facebook page for feedbacks, comments or suggestions.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

A Happy Homemaker is a Happy Pinay Mommy!

Leaving you with this video clip on making a family emergency plan:

Filipino Budget Ulam Ideas below 100 Pesos 2017 Edition

*This post contains affiliate links, at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting happypinaymommy.com*

The post Disaster Preparedness for Young Families amid “The Big One” appeared first on Happy Pinay Mommy.

(All Images in this Blog Post have been provided by Mommy Seema Savoie, and are approved for publication)

It has been more than two months since my last post, and my ideas for the topics that I should be writing about is getting longer as weeks pass. As I was trying to organize these titles and topics, I came across fellow mom blogger, and natural parenting advocate Mommy Seema’s post on her little Zacha’s “smileversary.”

I thought of asking her if we can share her reflection here, as her experience will surely inspire us. So without further ado, sharing with you Mommy Seema’s reflections on –

Zacha’s Second Smileversary

By: Mommy Seema Alexa Maryetta Savoie

Hi mothers! I wanted to share with you our story and hopefully inspire you that whatever it is that you’re going through, kung tingin mo man, sobrang bagsak ka na, may dahilan ang lahat. Just be strong and magtiwala sa Diyos.

Today is Zacha’s second Smileversary. To those of you who are not familiar with the term, Smileversay is the day Zacha had his Cheiloplasty (Cleft Lip Surgery). I feel very senti about today because I miss his first smile. His first smile will always be his best smile for me.

To lighten my mood, I created a slideshow of his pictures from Day 1 up to date. Achievement unlocked po ito, I feel very proud of myself because it’s the first time na gumamit ako ng Windows MovieMaker and I survived! I wanted to share with you how Zacha is in 32mos.

Being a cleft mom taught me a lot of things. This experience has shook but strengthen my faith in God. It made me realize that anything can happen to you and you have to face it, deal with it and come out stronger than you’ve ever been before.

Let me share with you our Cleft Journey.

I think it was the worse day of my life. When you’re a first time mom, you want everything to be perfect, you are scared and excited at the same time. You dread the day the baby will come out because of the horror stories you hear that it will be painful but you also can’t wait for that day to come because the pain will be worth it!

It was the 5th of March, and on the 5th month of my pregnancy. I was going to have a Congenital Anomaly Scan. We knew the baby is going to be a boy the month before. Honestly, I was excited to have the CAS done. Ang worry ko pa noon ay baka kulang ang mga daliri niya sa kamay or paa. Never did it cross my mind that something wrong was going to happen.

My OB is a chatty person. Lagi niya ako dinadaldal during check up, would even ask random questions and not related to my pregnancy but she was awfully quiet that day while she was checking me. She checked the fingers and toes at kumpleto sila. Tumawa pa ako. She checked the body, bones, stomach, lungs etc. When she reached the head, she stopped talking. I knew something was wrong.

She let out a sigh. The next thing she said tore my world apart. “Parang may cleft si baby.” Hindi ako makagalaw, nanlamig ako, my heart stopped. Totoo pala yun. Yung slow motion. Yung malabo silang lahat sa paningin mo. They are talking pero di mo sila maintindihan tapos umiikot ang paligid.

My OB was telling me something but I couldn’t understand. My husband and OB were talking about solutions and what might have caused it. OB said that up to this day, there is still no known cause ng pagkakaron ng baby ng cleft. It could be a number of things daw. Lack of folic acid, smoking, took antibiotics, genes. Yung pagkadulas po ay walang kinalaman dun.

Inside the examination room, I did not shed a tear but I couldn’t think straight. Ang naaalala ko, I asked my OB if it can still be fixed while the baby is growing inside me. Hindi daw, we have to wait until the baby comes out and get bigger.

Tinanong ko rin kung makakapagbreastfeed ako. It was important for me. Kaya lang hindi daw sigurado. Slim chance dahil nga sa cleft. Paglabas namin sa Exam room, and I saw my mom sabi ko “may cleft si baby”, niyakap ko agad siya at dun na bumuhos yung luha na kanina ko pa pinipigil.

Sobrang sakit. Masakit pa nung time na naghiwalay ang parents ko. Mas masakit nung nalaman kong may ibang babae yung ex ko. Humagugol ako. Naglupasay pa. Nakakahiya nga thinking about it now, but then, I didn’t care. I just wanted to let it all out. Si Doc, yung nurse and ibang pregnant moms cried with me. Sabi ng pinsan ko na kasama namin, okay lang daw, si JC De Vera nga daw may cleft pero naging artista. I knew she was only trying to make me feel better but it didn’t help ease the pain.

We kept it in the quiet, close family members lang ang may alam. They kept telling me that it was okay. That it’s not something that can’t be fixed. And I wanted to yell at them, that they don’t understand the pain I was going through.

Ang nasa isip ko nun, hindi pa man siya pinapanganak, he already failed at something. And I already failed him. I wasn’t able to take good care of him. Nagalit ako sa Diyos. 1 out of 700 babies na pinapanganak ay nagkakaron ng cleft, so why me out of 700 mommies? I kept asking him, Why me? I have been a faithful servant. Masipag ako magsimba, my whole life, I served him. So why me? Sinumbatan ko siya. Sobrang sumama talaga yung loob ko kasi I believed, I didn’t deserve this.

Ito na yata yung pinakamasakit na mangyayari sa isang nanay, give birth to a child with special needs. Kasi you will keep asking and blaming yourself. Where did I go wrong?

Nagpasecond opinion pa kami. We had a 3D utz. My husband wanted to go, ako ayoko. Hindi na ako umasa kasi I knew it in my heart that I was going to have a cleft baby. And I saw his face and my heart broke all over again. Hindi ako nagpaprint ng copy kasi I didn’t want to see my baby that way. (which I totally regret now, btw. Sorry na, depress ako that time.)

The next few days was hell. Nawalan ako ng gana sa lahat. Eat, work, the things that I used to love doing, nawala ang appeal sa kin. It was even our wedding month pero wala akong gana magprepare, how could I be excited at a time like this? I was a bitch to everybody. But my husband was my pillar. He was so positive about everything that it hurts. My family too. They all believed that it will all be okay.

I felt abandoned. I thought, I was alone in this pain. In my quiet moments, I talk — no scream at God. The never ending Why me’s. Pero kahit galit ako, I never stopped talking to him. I find comfort in talking to him. There must be reason. Lagi ko naiisip yan. Why do I have this baby? There must be a reason.

“Biruin mo, God gave me an important task, he trusted me to take care of this extra special baby and I was not about to prove God wrong. I want to show him that, I deserve this baby.” — Mommy Seema

And then one day, I woke up and I felt light. I wasn’t as sad anymore. Parang naenlighten ako. Na, oo nga. God chose me, out of 700 mommies, God decided to give him to me. There must be a reason. Yung “Why me” ko, naging “Why not?” I found my purpose.

Biruin mo, God gave me an important task, he trusted me to take care of this extra special baby and I was not about to prove God wrong. I want to show him that, I deserve this baby. That Zacha deserves me, a flawed person, to be his mom and I won’t let him down. Gusto ko na after everything ay maging proud ang Diyos sa akin at masabi niyang hindi siya nagkamaling ibigay si Zacha sa akin.

Mommy Seema promised to herself: “sabi ko sa sarili ko, babawi ako buong buhay niya. I am going to be strong for him. I will protect him from the bullies. As much as possible, shelter him from all the bad things in this world. Kapag nagkaisip siya and started asking about his cleft, I will tell him that he is not different. That he is beautiful.”

I felt guilty rin because I have been neglecting my baby dahil lang sa nalaman kong my cleft siya, sabi ko sa sarili ko, babawi ako buong buhay niya. I am going to be strong for him. I will protect him from the bullies. As much as possible, shelter him from all the bad things in this world. Kapag nagkaisip siya and started asking about his cleft, I will tell him that he is not different. That he is beautiful.

I’ve learned a lot from being a cleft mom. It made me stronger. I found my purpose. I see the world differently now. I empathize now with people I see on the streets na may special needs baby. Especially yung mga may cleft. Parang gusto ko sila lapitan at yakapin at sabihin na, everything is going to be okay.

My husband and my family was right. Everything is okay now. Zacha is 32months old two days from now and so far I can say that I’ve done a great job. We have a few more surgeries to go but I know, with God, we can make it.

Happy Smileversary Baby Z!

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So there you have it, I hope you have all been inspired by Mommy Seema’s story. Thank you Mommy Seema for allowing us to share your story. To my dear readers, let me know if you would like to contribute an article, a poem, or even a song you composed, so that we can share it with our fellow moms. You may get in touch with me by dropping by my Facebook page. Hope you can also hit the like button while you are there so you can receive regular updates from Happypinaymommy.com direct on your newsfeed.

Thank you so much!

A Happy Homemaker is a Happy Pinay Mommy!

Leaving you with this video:

Filipino Budget Ulam Ideas below 100 Pesos 2017 Edition

The post Happypinaymommy Reflections: Zacha’s Smileversary appeared first on Happy Pinay Mommy.

How to do household chores when everyone is sick. Photo Credits

Musings on how to do house chores while battling the colds, cough, and flu season

You see, as I have mentioned in my two previous posts, our little family is still saddled in a month-long bout with allergies-turned-viral infection that left everyone sniffling and coughing real bad.

And in the past weeks I was wondering how to do house chores as i was not able to get to my normal routine due to pedia visits here and there, pharmacy errands, extra grocery trips (get more fruits for juicing, and fresh teas for healing), a sick, crabby, and teething infant who I swear would not let me out of her sight for one minute, and a preschooler begging to play, shoot videos, and to do activities.

I was just so glad I had a week’s worth of freezer meals (thanks to weekly meal plans, and meal planning) before the whole allergy fiasco happened, if not, our food budget will be just so dented because of delivery meals!

Anyway, going back to the topic, now that we are slowly getting better, I am trying now to get my groove back – schedule wise.

My mountain-load of laundry – clean that is for folding and sorting; and those that are dirty, is just so hard to tackle. The only thing I could keep up with is the cloth diaper laundry, otherwise, older shirts and PJs come out from the hiding (haha!). Was just happy to have devised a way of catching up with the folding by allowing little shobe to play on her wonderful playgym, while I fold away. I tackle the sorting later on.

For the loading of dirty laundry, I rely on my five year old ring sling to get me through the loading and unloading in the washer. I am loving baby wearing since S showed signs of teething and did not want to be separated from me.

As for my preschooler, I try to find pockets of time to read stories to her, or just try to involve her on my catching up of housework as if it were a special activity or game. Like “delivering” folded socks and undies to the cabinet drawers, as well as sorting out the groceries and stocking the pantry and refrigerator with it. (i earlier wrote about chores a preschooler can do, and i definitely try to ask for her help on those stuff). I did not mind the slow pace, nor some of the misplaced items. I needed any help I could get, and I needed to keep her busy.

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You may also want to read:

• Truths about giving medicines to a baby
• A Busy Mom’s Guide in Preparing Meals for the Family
• Five Yummy Soups for the Rainy Season
• How to Save on Grocery Shopping
• Drying Cloth Diapers During the Rainy Season

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Giving meds was a pain, because some required a full stomach, there were times it should be round-the clock, there was a lot of throwing up, and Achi was sighing and kept on complaining about the “disgusting” meds she had to take. I wrote some of the truths on giving medicines to a baby in this post – it is a good read especially is you are in a season of sickness like us, and have very young kids in the family.

For the chores that I needed to do, and the showers (yes showers – I take at least three because I believe it energizes me) I had to take, I thank God for Disney Junior, Kris TV, and the cooking shows we love to watch. I put little shobe either in the stroller or her pack and play, and then she and achi will be perfectly happy for the next 10-15 minutes.

God gives us a way to survive sick seasons like this. It is rough, and I at times would like to blame my genes for the allergic rhinitis/asthmatic tendencies I have passed on to the kids. But things could be worse, so we should just do the next best thing which is to keep on trucking and embrace the challenge.

God bless fellow mommies!

You may want to check out this youtube video on suggested cures for a coughing baby:

https://happypinaymommy.com/2015/06/26/fb-and-online-cloth-diaper-sellers-in-manila-part-3/

The post How to do house chores when everyone is sick appeared first on Happy Pinay Mommy.

Determination, and Hardwork are just some of the many things i want my kids to learn from Manny Pacquiao. (Photo Credits: Roger Alcantara, cc: Some Rights Reserved)

We watch the early evening news almost every night, like clock work, and lately it is all about Manny Pacquiao and his upcoming fight with Floyd Mayweather.

And while Little H is already very familiar with Manny as her dad is a big fan, I have now noticed that she, too, is getting excited about that big fight on May 2 (May 3 for us in the Philippines).

Apart from making a Dubsmash with her dad – both of them singing “Lalaban Ako Para sa Mundo” – I lately hear my four-year old singing Manny’s song of the moment while playing with her teddy bears. Kilalang-kilala na nya si Manny, and it seems like she is already a fan. Gone were the days she calls him ‘money pacquiao’ out of innocence.

Well, I am not against her being a fan of the Pambansang Kamao. After all, Manny is a good inspiration not just to us Pinoys, but to the whole world as well.

So what do I want my kids to gain from being a Pacman Fan? Here are nine things I want my kids to learn from Manny Pacquiao:

1. The value of hardwork and determination – Manny kept on saying that he never imagined that he will be where he is now, especially during his younger days when he would go hungry, and walk the streets sans slippers. Kids these days are very lucky to be given what they want at their whim. I want my kids to learn that they should persevere in order to get what they want, and that if they do, the hard work and determination pays off, big time.

2. Bring back the Glory to the Lord – Manny has always glorified the Lord. Even before he became a Born Again Christian, Manny never forgot to heed the Lord’s help, make the sign of the cross, wear his scapular/rosary, and thank the Lord, every after a big fight. I want my kids to know that through all the successes and trials that they will meet, there is a God that watches over them, whom they have to thank for. I want them to be prayerful and faithful to the Lord, no matter what.

3. It pays to be Physically Fit –Manny’s physical routine may be very rigorous but it is a good example of a healthy habit I want my kids to acquire growing up. No they do not have to do those monster sit-ups and shadow boxing, they just have to stay active, and have a healthy outlook in life.

4. Dream Big – I have always subscribed to this saying, that Manny apparently mirrors in his life. I want my kids to know that there is nothing wrong with dreaming big, and the chances of getting what you want starts once you conceive it on your mind. Gaya nga ng sinabi ni Inay, “wala namang bayad mangarap, kaya mangangarap ka nalang, taasan mo na.” No use on limiting your own potential.

5. Failure happens, but you have to move on, and try to be better – Whenever Manny loses a major fight, it becomes a practical lesson to illustrate that even champions lose, and that failure happens. one of the things i want my kids to learn from Manny Pacquiao is that in life, there will be failures, and that it is fine to feel sad about it. HOWEVER, they should be able to get back on their feet as soon as they can, move on, and move strongly towards their goal, just like what Manny does.

6. People change – Manny is a self-confessed former womanizer, gambler, and if I remember right, a substance-abuser (correct me if this is a wrong notion because I only saw this on one of his true-to-life films – not Kid Kulafu though). He now said, he is a changed man, and he is happier and more at peace. Although I would not want to imagine my kids going through those trials, I just want them to know that they should not give up on a person because with a person’s willingness to change, coupled with perseverance, and God’s grace, he could change for the better.

7. Generosity – I love that Manny had always been featured on TV sharing to his relatives, friends, colleagues, and constituents, the many blessings he has received. I want my children to learn the value of generosity, and that sharing should always be done with joy in their hearts, and without expecting anything in return.

8. Love for country – I admit that I am not the most patriotic person, and so I want my kids to be nationalistic and proud of their heritage. Manny, in his many fights, has united Filipinos in more ways than one helping us to be proud of our country. I better get serious in teaching Little H, the Lupang Hinirang so that I could explain to her further during the bout what that song is for.

9. Keep sense of humor amid stress – Being the worry wart that I am, I am not a good model of this for my kids. Manny is the cool-type, and I want my kids to know that having that attitude of calmness amid stress would greatly benefit them in the long-run.

I may have said too much already, but one thing is certain – My little familia unites with the whole Filipino Nation in supporting our One and Only Pambansang Kamao. Manny is not just the best boxer our country has produced, he is also a great inspiration to all of us who are struggling in one way or another. Thank you Manny for the inspiration. Mabuhay Ka Pacman, and Kaya Mo Yan!

The post Nine Things I Want My Kids to Learn From Manny Pacquiao appeared first on Happy Pinay Mommy.

The 70,000 Pediatric Dental Job

Epic Teeth: The Set of Teeth That Launched P70,000.00

I confess that I am a mother of a monster-teeth pre-schooler. If you would see my daughter’s teeth, you would know where my guilt is actually coming from. And I know it is my fault. Although I religiously brush her teeth before going to bed, I introduced her to the love of nursing to sleep and chocolates J

So when I saw the first cavity, I rushed her to the pedia dentist who just gave me a tooth mousse to slather on my kid’s mouth. She said, chocolates can never be avoided, and that I should just follow up with brushing.

My daughter’s teeth, after months became yuckier all the more. Enter Pedia Dent #2, who was really nice. She however said that my daughter’s teeth can no longer be repaired through filling or what we call “pasta” and she has to undergo root canal. And being three years old at that time, she recommended that she be sedated during the whole process.

And although this is supposed to be routine according to her, we got scared about the thought of “putting her to sleep” just so her teeth could be nice again. I figured kids will be kids, and we do not want her having to endure that.

What got me all the more scared was the quotation that amounted to almost 12,000 Pesos if I remembered right. My goodness, it almost amounted to my Wisdom Tooth Extraction, am I that bad a mother? Am I that neglectful?

Anyway, our favorite dentist Dr. T, assured me it had nothing to do with my parenting, and Little’s nursing to sleep was to be blamed. In fact she even said, even her kid has cavities.

And there I was thinking breastmilk won’t cause cavities.

I just can’t fathom the thought of not letting a baby or a toddler for that matter nurse to sleep. And am I that nuts to wake a sleeping ball of kakulitan just to gargle or brush? I felt so guilty.

So the long and short of it was, I just vowed to be ultra vigilant about brushing. As recommended by Dr. T, she now uses Floucaril, and an anti-cavity mouthwash, and I have Dolan in the fridge just in case one of her teeth will ache.

But after a year, like a nightmare back with vengeance, one of Little’s molars was aching. Had to give her Dolan, and too bad for us, Dr. T is no longer practicing in that wonderful clinic nearest our house. Her clinic in her residence is a good two hour drive from our place so had to say goobye to her.

Anyway, we had to consult another pedia dentist. This time though, the figures were staggering. She, like our favorite pedia dent, Dr. T, also recommended the sedation, root canal, extraction, and all. The huge difference though was the price quote for the treatment. A WHOPPING P70,000.00. Goodness gracious! So does this mean that in one year’s time the damage in Little’s teeth worsened seven times further? That amount of money was like giving birth to her all over again!

I tried to compose myself and asked the pedia dent how come it came around that figure. She mentioned the anesthesiologist etc plus other fees, and the many procedures that have to be done to salvage my daughter’s pearly whites (or pearly browns for that matter). She and her assistant also assured to me that Little’s case was not even the worst that they saw, and was not definitely the worst that they are treating. Oh well.

So by now, you might have guessed what we did. I added another tooth-brushing session to our day, and fingers crossed no major toothache till all the milk teeth fall off. J We are keeping our P70k. I’m not a good mom when it comes to this, and it is OK.

The post Why My Daughter’s Dentist is Asking for P70,000.00 appeared first on Happy Pinay Mommy.

Does your daily commute take a toll on your family time? you are not alone. Photo credits: Roy Patrick Tan Via Flickr.com

Whether you drive your own car or take public transportation to and from your office, most Metro-Manila based working moms have one sentiment — the heavy traffic is taking a toll on their personal time.

EDSA Traffic has become too heavy that it makes headline news, and would even comprise all stories in the first gap of early evening news programs. And while it would have been a different story if the dashing Atom Araullo is the one reporting, one thing remains – the traffic flow is just sooo frustrating.

My former officemate even said “hindi ka pa nagsastart magtrabaho stressed-out ka na.” And why not? You just spent the whole morning hurrying up to leave your house, and then spend the next one-and a half to two hours plying EDSA looking for alternate routes, or, lining up at the MRT patiently waiting for your turn to enter one of the few working bagons. Come 5 PM, you rinse and repeat the whole process.

So now what?

Moms now have in their smartphone apps that advise them about traffic flow. But hello? Do you have a choice? When you work in Makati and live in Quezon City you only have three sensible routes to choose from: EDSA, C-5, or the Manila Route that would rival the isaw being sold at your neighborhood barbecue-han. All three routes are jampacked as soon as the clock strikes 4:30.

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Related Posts:

• What Pinay Mommies can do while stuck in EDSA/C5/Metro Manila Heavy Traffic, or the MRT Queue
• Are you a member of Club 501?
• Legitimate ways to Earn from Home
• A Busy Mom’s Guide to Preparing Meals from her Family
• Weekend Activities with the Toddler
• Seven Ways to Save on Grocery Shopping

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So what do moms do? If they can afford, and their bosses don’t mind, they become members of the HONDA Group (lucky for me XB is like this). And no this is not a group of mothers driving the same vehicle brand. This is a group of mothers leaving HONDA-dot. Much like members of Club 501, I mentioned in this post. By doing so, they avoid at least 15 minutes of heavy traffic because as we all know, not all employees can afford to leave on-the-dot.

Anyway, going back to the sentiment about EDSA robbing me of my family time, I earlier thought that I might just be over-reacting to it and that traffic is really a way of life here in the metropolis. But I found out I am not alone. Most moms like me shudder at the thought that their four-hour back and forth commute could have been spent helping the children with their assignments, or cuddling with them in the morning. It could have been spent with the husband via a date night in the couch. Pero wala ng movies o nice shows, kasi A & A or worst puro UFC nalang ang maabutan mo sa sobrang traffic!

And when we get home, we realize that we are not just robbed of time, we are also robbed of the energy to be the patient and cheerful mom that we have to be. That is if the kids are still awake when we get home.

So what am I getting into? This is not a hate post for MMDA Chairman Tolentino. I am definitely not a fan, but I know the man is doing what he can. What can you do when you only have two major highways to service that voluminous amount of cars right? All I am saying is we, mothers should put matters into our own hands. Maybe we could study the option of moving houses near our work (not that easy but not impossible), we can find another job nearer to our place of residence, or we could start considering work from home options. And whether we decide to stay or move on, there is one thing we should do, shrug that mommy guilt off because we are just doing what’s best for our families.

Hug the kids again, and till next post!

Photo credits: Roy Patrick Tan Via Flickr.com

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