Today’s world can make would-be mothers unprepared for the mess of
motherhood. With the curated social media feed of influencers, the
pinterest-perfect homes of supposed moms of young children, and the
staged lives in youtube, new moms could just get flat footed about the
true mess motherhood brings.
Mothering three littles under the age of six can be overwhelming. Ask
any yaya-less mom, and she will definitely understand why vacuuming,
sweeping, picking up, and wiping should be done more than three times
a day just to catch up with the dizzying disarray of toys, food
crumbs, papers and crayons, and what have you. It really is tiring.
But as followers of Jesus, we are being encouraged to embrace this
season of our mothering life. The picking up, the putting down, the
cleaning up, the wiping, the running after, the feeding, the carrying,
and the endless chores.
“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under
heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1
And yes, the term “parenting from the trenches” is definitely real. It
can feel like you keep on digging but the kids keep on piling up more
dirt than ever. It is funny but it is true. Kind of like the story in
the Second Book of Kings Chapter 3, when the kings of Israel, Judah
and Edom sought God’s help for provision, and defeat of their enemies.
The Prophet Elisha, whom the kings talked to, spoke for the Lord and
asked them to dig ditches in the land. Now we can imagine the kings
and their people are probably wondering what all the digging will
accomplish. Of course digging ditches cannot be done overnight, and so
in spite of lack of water and provisions, they still followed in
faith, pushed through with the job. And non-stop digging they did.
“And he said, “Thus says the LORD: ‘Make this valley full of ditches.’
For thus says the LORD: ‘You shall not see wind, nor shall you see
rain; yet that valley shall be filled with water, so that you, your
cattle, and your animals may drink.’ And this is a simple matter in
the sight of the LORD; He will also deliver the Moabites into your
hand. Also you shall attack every fortified city and every choice
city, and shall cut down every good tree, and stop up every spring of
water, and ruin every good piece of land with stones.” 2 Kings 3:16-19
As we have read from this story, we can surmise that no season is
wasted. The effort and time taken to dig ditches is not wasted at all
since it provided them food. It also allowed them to defeat their
enemies as it gave the impression that there was bloodshed, since the
water in the ditches appeared red in the eyes of their enemies.
And so as moms, we should see this tiring season of our life as our
time to dig ditches. It will also help if we see it with the eyes of a
mother whose kids have already left home to pursue their own lives.
We should savor the moment and see it for what it is: scattered toys
meant that the kids are healthy enough to play, a sink full of dirty
dishes means that there was time and money to make nutritious home
cooked meals. The piles of laundry mean that there are enough clothes
to wear and that the kids and yourself are well enough to sweat and
accumulate dirt inside and outside the home. Chores left undone means
there was time to play and enjoy with the children, or time taken to
rest.
“Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to
come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is
on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does
not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her
blessed; her husband also, and he praises her” Proverbs 31:25-28
When we see these moments as finite, we will be in a more cheerful
disposition to accept this messy motherhood season of life. We will
realize that now is a crucial time for our family as it is the time to
build our children’s core memories. Memories that could make them
smile when they are in sorrow, memories they can hold on to when they
grow old, and memories that will inspire them to be godly people and
eventually better parents.
Besides, we as parents can no longer turn back lost time even if we
want to. As they say, children grow up in the blink of an eye, and
that “the days are long but the years are short.” We only have 18
summers with them if we are lucky. Once they are out of the house, we
can have all the time to rest, pursue hobbies, finally minimize our
home and keep it as neat as we can.
“What do people really get for all their hard work? I have seen the
burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful
for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even
so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to
end.” Ecclesiastes 3:9-11
I am not saying that it is okay to have a super messy home. God wants
us to live an organized life, and as Christian mothers we are
encouraged to manage our household well, BUT we should not be
unrealistic. We should not be pressured by the lies of social media,
and let our sanity and that of our children suffer just so we can
conform.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by
the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve
what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2
We should accept that there will be mess, children will be playful,
and the home can be chaotic at times. We should not sacrifice our
kids’ mental health for our obsessive orderliness and neatness, and
for taking curated photos of our life that we share in our respective
social media feeds. Let us keep it real.
So while we still have our children at home, and they still have us,
let us just do what we can to make our homes orderly, but prioritize
love and building of godly values and great childhood memories. Let us
share the Gospel of Jesus Christ to them, teach them to love God and
others, and bring them to church, and saturate their lives with God’s
words.
“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for
doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in
righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly
equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16-17
Every season of life is useful. This season of motherhood is for
planting seeds of faith, and cultivating wonderful memories that will
hopefully help them become godly people.
Parenting in the trenches may be messy, muddy, hard, and
unpredictable, but we know for certain that God shines the sun on us,
God nourishes us. And when the kids are grown, we can look forward to
an even greater outpouring of God’s love as the good memories and
godly values we planted on our children’s heart will multiply as our
children will in turn raise their own God-honouring families.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13
Thank you for reading through our devotional today. I invite you to
ponder on Ecclesiastes 3:1-11, and 2 Kings 3:1-25 to dig
deeper on today’s topic.
Reflection Question: Are you still frustrated over the messes of
motherhood? How can your devotion to Jesus open your eyes to the gift
of your present parenting season?
Conversation with the Lord: Lord Jsus Christ, open my eyes to the
blessings of this motherhood season. Thank you for giving me a front
row seat in my children’s lives and give me the grace to parent them
in a way that honours you, and builds good memories and godly values
that will last a lifetime.
