One of the challenges that I face as a mom is saying the right words. I try to be tactful at all times to my children, but when frustration, tiredness, crankiness, and other issues come into play, my ascent to the mountain of encouraging words gets steeper.
I know I am not alone in this, because in my bible study group, we share our struggles on this. Some moms say they can become a T-Rex and just roar at their kids; others say they can morph into a human megaphone, that their next door neighbor can hear them. As for me, I can sometimes evolve into an AK-47 when the clock strikes 8pm and the house is still a mess and the kids are still fighting with each other. Yes, I use the machine gun mouth to stop fights, get them to brush their teeth, and hurl them into bed. And I am not proud of this.
The Bible tells us that our tongue is so powerful that it can either give life or prompt death. The Book of Proverbs is dotted with all these lessons about controlling one’s speech and choosing one’s words. Over at the New Testament, the Book of James dedicated ample time on encouraging believers to tame their tongue. And so are St. Paul the Apostle’s various letters to the early churches. And as believers (and mothers at that), our challenge is to heed the call.
“For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.” James 3:7-9
The power of words is perfected by no less than our Messiah Jesus Christ, who only had to utter a phrase to heal a sick person, to raise a dead person into life, and to expel demons. One popular story is that of the slave of a Roman Centurion who Jesus healed from a far, with just Jesus’ words. Then of course, the story about the Messiah raising Lazarus from the dead:
“When he had said these things, he cried out with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out.” The man who had died came out, his hands and feet bound with linen strips, and his face wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.” John 11:43-44
Now, our words as moms and followers of Jesus may not be miraculous enough to heal a sick person, but it can heal souls. Our children may have had a bad day in school, hence they are cranky when they get home. Our children may not be feeling too well, hence they are unable to do their chores. They may have been hurt with what their sibling said to them, hence they too lost their temper. They could use an encouraging word too.
When we try our best to understand them before judging them and ranting off, we can at least say better words that could hush our children, and calm our hearts that are otherwise ready to nag and explode.
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29
And so to heed St. Paul the Apostle’s call to refrain from speaking unwholesome words, we do not only stop saying hurtful truths to our children. It also should drive us to think before we speak to others.
This means that we too should avoid saying cuss words even as an expression, we should also stop slandering, gossiping, backbiting, lying, and rumor mongering whether in real life or online. That if we do not have anything nice to say, we better stop talking. Such is also the reminder of St. Peter in his letter to the early believers:
“For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit;” 1 Peter 3:10
And as we discipline ourselves to not give way to mindless rhetoric, we should also train ourselves to keep on encouraging others. We can use our words to verbalize our support for an otherwise down-trodden, depressed or anxious friend. And what better way to encourage these people than pointing them to Christ by sharing with them the Gospel.
Yes, it may be challenging to keep ourselves from speaking harshly, especially when we are also hurt. But it is entirely possible. It will be possible when we seek God’s help to transform our hearts, and make us into the best person He has planned us to be.
Thank you for reading through our devotional today. I invite you to ponder on James 3:1-12 and Luke 7:1-10 to dig deeper on today’s topic.
Reflection Question: Do you struggle to mince words at the heat of the moment?
Conversation with the Lord: Lord Jesus Christ, thank you for never getting tired of calling me to follow your example. Like you, may my words be life-giving to the people around me. Give me the grace to be forgiving, tactful, and generous with encouragement and praise especially to my children. Amen.
