My classmate Lyn shared some time ago a book warning parents that they should continue connecting with their school-aged children before their friends would have a greater influence in their lives. The author apparently said that time will come, early teeners will no longer look up to their parents for life advice and directions, instead, would consult their friends and heed their examples and follow their way of thinking.
Lo and behold a month after she mentioned that I started seeing telltale signs on my daughter. Suddenly, her best friend is starting to become the most influential person in her life. That girl’s thoughts on studying, friends, school, music and entertainment — and even boys and makeup which she introduced to my formerly carefree child — have pre-occupied my teenager.
She also started talking like her — not just vocabulary wise, but even in terms of intonation and expression. If she were a really bad kid, I would have been horrified, but thankfully, she belongs to a God-seeking family, and she does well in school. She also encouraged my kid to join a Christ-centered youth organization.
But what if my daughter’s friend was not like that, right? Such thoughts prompted me to think that in our lives, we can easily be swayed by a lot of things. Our friends can influence what we like, and even help us engage in worldly behavior like goveting, gossiping among others. Whoever we follow, we get to assimilate. So in this age of influencers, we really should be careful both for ourselves and for our children.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2
The biggest influence in our lives should be Jesus Christ. We ought to aim for Christlikeness in everything that we do, and we can only do that by establishing and nurturing a personal relationship with Him. Just like human relationships, we have to spend time to get to know Him more. We can do that by prioritizing prayer and worship time. We have to strive to be closer to Him by reading, reflecting and meditating on His words, daily, intentionally.
“Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” Joshua 1:8
As for our children, the best way to help them stay grounded in Jesus Christ is to spend time with them intentionally. Just like what Lyn’s book says, we should connect with our children and continue tightening our relationships with them. This is actually the essence of the parenting guidance we can find in the Book of Deuteronomy:
“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. ” Deuteronomy 6:6-7
When we spend time with our children and talk to them about their day, share to them what we have learned in our own bible reflection time, and tell them about our life experiences, they will be more confident to talk to us about their lives too. They will be more responsive, and will better absorb and follow our guidance.
The passage above can be applied in today’s age by talking to our children about God’s life and words when we sit to eat, when we are in the car driving to get somewhere (especially while trapped in traffic), and before we sleep, and as we go about our morning routine.
It tells us to normalize conversations about Jesus, His life, and His teachings. That these things are not just discussed every Sunday in church, and in Holy Week, Easter, and Christmas — but every single day.
The passages encourages us to be the moms who will be remembered as the pillar of faith in our respective homes. And we can only do that, if we, mothers, have a personal relationship with Jesus.
“Jesus answered him, “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” John 14:23
When our children’s eyes are open to the great character of our Heavenly Father, and our Messiah Jesus Christ who is God in human form, they will most likely be influenced by His life, His teachings and His words.
Someone once said that the end goal of parenting is to help your child grow in Christlikeness. And indeed, this should be our aim. We can never raise perfect and sinless children because we are still living in this fallen world. But we can raise our kids to become people who shine Jesus’ light on others. People who are more than willing to become God’s vessel of blessing.
Thank you for reading through our devotional today. I invite you to ponder on Deuteronomy 6:1-9 to dig deeper on today’s topic.
Reflection Question: Who is the biggest influence in your children’s life? How about in your personal life?
Conversation with the Lord: Heavenly Father, thank you for setting us the best example to follow in our earthly journey. May you give us the grace to grow in Christlikeness as we continue our Earthly Journey. Help me as well train my children into following your commands and teachings so that they may shine your light on others too. Amen
