Daily devotional, October 13, 2023 Truth in love for children

"The wise in heart are called discerning, and gracious words promote instruction." Proverbs 16:21

As a mother, how many times have you caught yourself saying true yet hurtful things to your child? Like a criticism, that could otherwise have been said well enough to be constructive, but was so angrily uttered that it turned out downright mean and sarcastic?

I don’t know about you but I may have done that a couple of times more than I may want to admit, and so I pray for the grace to be able to tell my children truths in love.

You see, even the simplest things said harshly could end up leaving a mark on our children’s hearts. Like criticizing them about how lazy they are when it comes to tidying up their room, or how they lack initiative when it comes to studying. For some kids, these ugly truths might stick and instead of being able to rise from it,  they get to believe it way too much and live it out for the rest of their lives. 

The Apostle James reminds us to bridle our mouths as it can bring about destruction: “But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison” (James 3:8). We have to make sure that the fragile hearts of our children are protected from our venting of frustration whenever they misbehave.

St. Paul also called on the church to be more mindful of things they say to others: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29).

At the end of the day, we can still help our children improve their character by speaking the truth in love. This means, telling them what they need to know without being judgy, condescending, and most of all cranky.

We should not be on the other side of the scale though that is to allow them to become little bad people so that they will still like us as their parents and they won’t feel bad. We should instead wear our grown up pants, tell them what they need to hear in an age-appropriate manner, and talk to them while we are relaxed ourselves. Not talking while we are cleaning up the mess they made or just right after talking with the school’s prefect of discipline after we have been called in. As parents, our job is to raise God-fearing children, and we can never do this if we do not speak the truth in love to them, and certainly never if we speak it out in anger.

Thank you for reading through our devotional today. I invite you to ponder on James 3:1-12 and Ephesians 4:25-29 to dig deeper on today’s topic.

Reflection Question: How do you tell your kids the truth about their mistakes and failures? Do you speak the truth in love or in anger?

Conversation with the Lord: Heavenly Father, thank you for reminding me to keep myself in check whenever I try to raise my children well. Allow me to be more prudent and gentle to them in speech, so that they will grow up to be the godly people you intended them to be. Amen.